China Wins Again

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/father-dangle-seven-year-old-son-meishan-river-china-maths-question-sichuan-province-a7605426.html

A Chinese man was so eager for his son to learn maths that he dangled him over a river while forcing him to do his sums. The seven-year-old can be seen sitting precariously on a plank of wood, before he is lowered via a rope and pulley system in video captured by an amateur on a mobile phone. The boy can be heard screaming as his feet near the water’s surface before bursting into panicked tears as his father shouts maths questions at him.

Hey Mom and Dad, maybe if you guys put this sort of fear in me when studying for a simple math quiz things would of been different.  Better grades, better college, better job, more money, and not sitting in cubicle writing blogs that like 6 people read.  But nope, instead you said "Max, get to your room right now and study." So I walked right over to my room, put my books on my bed, turned the TV on, and whenever I'd hear you coming I would turn that shit off like a bat out of hell and act like I was going over my work.  Basically I am saying you royally screwed up as parents by not dangling me over shark-infested waters to learn.  Your fault, not mine.

America is soft and that is why China is running circles around us.  They're kids essentially face death if they do not know long division by the age of 4.  And by the time the kids in the USA learn it in their cozy little classrooms with their supportive teachers? The same Chinese kids are already writing books, solving equations, and doing other things that smart asians do.  Game, set, match, China. 




P.S. Cheating off Asians in college is not the way to go.  The smart ones go to fast and don't speak a lick of english and communication is vital when cheating.  And the dumb ones, well they're dumb.  General rule of thumb when cheating is don't want to cheat of dumb people.  

Oscars Fuck up

First thing first, this was absolutely fucking hilarious.  Only the biggest night in Hollywood and some shmuck intern handed the wrong envelope to Warren Beatty who than made an absolutely boring night, fully electric.

With that being said, the moral of the story is that Warren Beatty at 79 years old and Faye Dunaway at 76 are too old to be presenting awards at the Oscars, let alone the biggest award of the night.  Take both of my grandfathers who are in their 80s for example.  I'd say when they are talking to me and trying to get my attention they get my name right less than 25% of the time.  They know who the hell I am, but chances are they are going to call me by my brother, cousin, dad, or whatever the fuck name pops up in their head at that time.  Thats just getting old.  And Warren Beatty is too old to be presenting at the Oscars.  If you're older than 50 years old get all old and drunk and creepy at the Oscars, but sorry you can no longer present.

The other thing that stuck out about this was the producer of La La Land, Jordan Horowitz happily handing over the oscar to the Moonlight people.  Only the biggest award you will ever receive is being ripped right from your claws.  Show a little fucking heart and fight.  If this was a sports you'd have an athlete up there pretending all is well and trying to get off the stage with the trophy in hand.  Not willingly handing it over.  Fucking artsy people.  Play to win the game one time for me.

President of Azerbaijan chooses wife as New VP. Wait what?

This year, Azerbaijani President Ilham Aliyev offered his wife a special anniversary present — he appointed her first vice president.  On Tuesday, Aliyev announced that Mehriban Aliyeva, 52, would step into a role created last fall by constitutional referendum. In that position, she will succeed her husband if he steps down. She will also likely oversee the country's cabinet. (The constitutional amendments approved in the referendum also stretched the presidential term from five to seven years, after a 2009 referendum abolished term-limits in the former Soviet republic. And they ditched the age requirement for president, paving the way for the Aliyevs' 19-year-old son to run.)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/02/22/azerbaijans-president-has-chosen-a-new-vp-his-wife/?utm_term=.983fff95ad16

Look of course this is ultimate power move from Ilham Aliyev to legit just make up his own damn rules as he goes.  And I am all for "fuck you I can do whatever I want" decisions, but this is one I just can't condone.  I am far from a married man, but isn't work suppose to be your escape from your wife?  This man has to deal with the shit-storm of a country that is Azerbaijan* by day, and than come home and deal with his wife and kids by night.  So why on earth combine the two?! Makes negative sense.  I get that pussy can make any guy do crazy things, but isn't that reserved for young hot single girls?  Certainly not your 52 year old wife.  

My only theory is that Ilham Aliyev is all but positive he going to be assassinated because you know, Azerbaijan;  and he wants to make sure he keeps the presidency in the family until his son takes the reins.  Otherwise I can't think of one reason that this makes sense in the slightest.  Hopefully his 19 year old son won't make the same idiotic mistake.    

*BTW I have no idea what is going on in Azerbaijan, but one can only assume its a shit-storm

Magic Johnson Named President of Basketball Operation for the Lakers

After 35 years with the same organization Mitch Kupchak has lost his job as President of the team. Jim Buss was essentially fired by his sister from their own family business.  And one would also assume that Phil Jackson is pretty butt hurt now that he can't run the Lakers.  Yet these 3 men did not take the biggest L in the Magic Johnson hiring, It was in fact however, AIDS.

Granted I was born in 1994, so I missed Magic announcing that he had stuck his dick in everything that moved and contracted HIV.  But I do know that in the 80s and 90s HIV/AIDS was a death sentence.  Somehow and someway in 2017, Ervin Magic Johnson has reduced it to being diagnosed with something a little worse than the common cold.  I mean what exactly has Magic accomplished since finding out he had the dreaded HIV?  Played some more basketball, made a bajillion dollars in his business ventures, than used some of that bajillion to be apart of the group that bought the Dodgers, and now has been named the President of one of the most historic teams in sports.  Doesn't sound like a bad deal to me.  Where do I sign up for AIDS?

Now I know people are going to tell me that the reason Magic is still alive is because of all the money he has for treatments and medicine that never let the disease progress like it does in the common person and blah blah blah.  But I don't buy it.  If it is such a deadly disease why don't we hear
anything about it like we do from cancer, alzheimers, and all the other god awful illnesses out there?Because the point remains, Magic Johnson killed AIDS.

That face when not even you know how you kicked AIDS straight in the dick

Trying to Comprehend why Phil Jackson rides the Bus

Well we all knew the Knicks were doomed and Phil Jackson couldn't get the job done.  But if you consider yourself an optimist and had even the slightest bit of hope, this picture should put an end to that dream. (And you're an idiot for having hope but thats another story).  Defeated, depressed, confused and wanting to get the fuck out of New York and go back to LA are all things that describe Phil in this picture.  I mean just based off this picture and the last 3 Knick seasons, I am more surprised Phil actually boarded the bus and didn't jump in front of it.

The real story here though is what on earth is Phil Jackson doing riding the New York City bus.  He is the owner of 11 championship rings, and is getting paid 12 MILLION dollars.  For example I am a 22 year old recent college graduate who is still supported by his parents, makes a minimal salary, and takes important time out his day at work to write blogs.  And that is why I take the crosstown bus to work everyday.  I am the perfect bus candidate.  Not the Zen Master.

Just this morning I had the privilege of sitting near a crazy guy yelling about how much life sucks and  I am pretty sure a homeless chick. (Can't be positive she was homeless but she certainly smelled like it).  But again, I am not 3 years into a 5 year 60 million dollar contract.  Phil Jackson is.  Take an Uber, get a driver, or worst case take a god damn cab Phil. But there is absolutely zero reason you should be riding the bus.  You're too rich, and clearly to tall for public transportation because holy shit do you look uncomfortable.

Darrelle Revis Arrested

NY Jets star Darrelle Revis was involved in a violent altercation in Pittsburgh over the weekend -- but there seems to be a big dispute over what really went down.  Revis' lawyer, Blaine Jones, issued a statement saying the NFL star was assaulted by 5 men in the South Side area. The lawyer said Revis was injured and sought medical attention. Jones is adamant Revis is the victim.  But here's where things get weird ... WTAE in Pittsburgh says Revis is the one under investigation for the incident -- with sources claiming he and his group were the aggressors and men in the other group suffered serious injuries.
    
 At the end of the day the Jets were most likely going to cut Revis after he will inevitably not accept a pay cut.  So this probably just makes that decision much easier.  Now do I care that he was arrested and may be in trouble with the league? No because like I said he was probably not going to be a Jet next year anyway.  But what does infuriate me is that just from reading the reports of this incident it appears that Darrelle showed more fire, passion, and fight in a Pittsburgh street brawl than he did all year playing cornerback.  I mean for 16 games last year the man was a walking corpse who didn't give a fuck about anything but collecting his paycheck.  Didn't cover. Didn't tackle.  Didn't make plays.  Didn't give a shit.

The dude is facing two counts of aggravated assault, along with charges of robbery, conspiracy to commit aggravated assault and to top it all off a terroristic threat! Revis island is a terrorist now! Truly wild stuff.  Another day in paradise to be a New York Jet fan.  In all honesty whoever the guys that Revis beat the shit out of can't be very good athletes.  Because the Revis I saw play football this year, all you need is one studder step or cut in a different direction and he will be nowhere near you.

Lets go to a live look in on Todd Bowles to see what he has say on this franchise falling apart...

Nothing? Thought so.

Tom Izzo and Dan Dakich won't be hanging out anytime soon

I was a little late to seeing this, but after Michigan State's win last night Tom Izzo went absolutely IN on Dan Dakich for this tweet...

Now obviously for Dan Dakich this is not the best look.  Especially considering he has a son that goes to Michigan and is a walk on there.  And I don't personally like Dakich much on TV, but here is the reality of this tweet Tom Izzo, he ain't fucking wrong!  There are exactly zero students who go to Michigan State that could go or actually got accepted into Michigan.  Want to know how I know that?  Because those kids would be in Ann Arbor if they could.  For sure not the hell hole that is East Lansing.  Granted I know exactly one person who has ever went to MSU (he was a little off in High School), and he got out of there so fast he would of transferred to a school in the Gaza Strip if it meant not having to do another semester in Sparty.    

That is the overall beauty of college sports and their rivalries.  One school is always on a higher ground academically.  I went to Syracuse and could I get into Georgetown? Fuck no! But guess what Tom Izzo, I know that and I embrace it.  So I guess my GPA and SATs were not high enough, I get that.  But I am happy I didn't have to go to that Roman Catholic School with their over the hill basketball program and where half the student body was touched by their priests as kids.  And they would look right back at me and tell me I have a half functioning brain and thats why I ended up in bumblefuck central New York.  It is the essence of college sports rivalries.  

So get over it Tom Izzo, I bet every kid at MSU probably agrees and acknowledges the fact they couldn't get into UM anyway.  Well actually maybe not because you know, Michigan State.  

Go Green, Go White, Cant read, Cant write, Indeed.