DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) – Tiger Woods withdrew from the Dubai Desert Classic on Friday with back spasms after shooting an opening-round 77 a day earlier, marking another frustrating start to his return to golf from a lengthy injury layoff.Woods' manager, Mark Steinberg, said Woods had back spasms on Thursday night after dinner."Tiger Woods went into a spasm in his lower back fairly late last night ... got treatment done early this morning for 3 1-2 hours, but can't get it out," Steinberg said. "He says it's not the nerve, but back spasm, and he can't get the spasms to calm down. He can move around, but he can't make a full rotation in his swing.
As someone who likes to watch golf, I don't enjoying seeing this. Whether you love him or hate him, Eldrick Woods is the GOAT. Golf is simply more exciting when that sexual deviant is competing for a championship on Sundays. With that being said, anyone who did not see this coming is a god-damn moron. Tiger Woods withdrawing from this tournament on the other side of the world was as a big of lock as the sun coming up this morning for one sole reason. THE MAN FLEW ON A COMMERCIAL PLANE TO DUBAI. FUCKING DUBAI!!!!
This is essentially what a man worth almost a billon dollars did to travel 12 hours. He went to fucking expedia like the rest of us peasants in the world and booked a flight at an affordable rate! Hey Tiger, I know you're ex has half of your net worth, but times can't be this bad in the Woods' household. You're coming off your bajillionth back surgery. I am a pretty healthy, but slightly overweight and out of shape 22 year old, and if I flew to Dubai for half of the day, I don't think I'd be able to play golf either. Let alone you, who has the back of a 41 year old man going on age 90 with more screws and metal in there than a hardware shop.
The only explanation for this is that Tiger is fucking a flight attendant on whatever airline he flew and he wanted to get his rocks off from 30,000 feet, while she was on the job. Which, if we're being honest, is a pretty subdued sexual fetish for Tiger compared to what has come out over the years. Maybe rehab for being a "sex addict" did work?*
*It most definitely did not
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